Find Strength in Solitude

We live in the era of assertion. Dictations about yourself and your life through social media and intermittent social gatherings can warp and characterize an exterior perspective of yourself. We love to paint ourselves in warm yellow light. Often these things are our exaggerations. We’re going to do everything. We just haven’t started yet. We become jokes of ourselves. We become ideas perpetuated and reiterated from one another. All forms of personality, passion, and conclusion from the mouths of our betters. The power of solitude completely lost, we seek compensation for work we haven’t done. We seek validation of all things in our life.

We were not inherently meant to be alone or to be sedentary. The tribe makes us safe, makes us comfortable. Brotherhood, sisterhood, binds us in an endless safety net. I think of dying. We all live together and we break bread together. We may bleed together in battle and die next to each other but we will all experience death alone. So many of us lose who we truly are by not understanding the power of loneliness. In utter solitude, we find who we truly are. We gain the ability to not only change the perspective of ourselves but to actually change. Oneness in self and the power of diligence. Nothing of true prowess is created publicly. Social status and bragging rights come from the things accomplished alone. The truly strong have no need to brag or to be validated. They just want to work.  

Unity is evil. The idea of shared perspective and unthinking action is the iron thumb of control. I will not be controlled by my peers. No work is done under the light of the arbiter. We fear judgment and the vigilant eye of the world. It is continuous and inescapable. We must live under its gaze without bending to it. Create who you are. The eye cannot dictate who you become. 

The ease of companionship is lust and comfort. It is not in itself negative or evil but it can become crutch-like. Having something to fall back on is what some would consider intelligent or preparedness. I am never prepared to fail. If it happens, I try to take it with ease and try again. Instead of accepting failure, we search for the absence of self. We search for excuses like “bad genetics.” Like the universe rigged us to fail. We know that’s not why we know it is us. We fear ourselves because we know ourselves. We know we didn’t write enough, didn’t train enough, didn’t do enough. We fear the truth. Running from it forever. 

Talent is an endless ego roller coaster. If you’ve ever been in the position to be called talented, they are wrong. Talent is a false sense of self, a thing people that don’t know tumultuous work use to describe a person that embodies it. Talent is only a byproduct of excessive work. People wake up every day and think nothing of themselves. Trained show horses. We rise, we eat, we work, we fuck, we go to sleep. The American dream. 

I see people idolize one another. We are all guilty of it, myself included. We see in others what we wish we could be. We say things like “talent.” We make excuses like “I just don’t have the time.” None of this poignant. None of this is true. People work full-time jobs, have kids, do their own taxes, have time to write, train, better themselves and create time with their loved ones. No one is special. You may have it rough but there is only one standing the difference between you and your idol. It's work. That person worked to be there. You didn’t. 

Greatness comes from a diligence pushed further every day. We build this in solitude, in oneness and in control of ourselves. Go to work. Do your damn job. 

Written by Tim Williams
Edited by Ira Dawson

Share this post